Tag: anger

Self-Care in the Time of Corona

This week is Masters Week. The week the golfing world descends on Augusta National Golf Club to witness the most captivating and beloved golf tournament of the year. Even if you don’t like golf, or watch golf, chances are you just might sneak a peek at a television broadcast this week. Magnolia Lane. The azaleas. Ray’s Creek. Amen Corner. Pimento cheese sandwiches. All the things that make The Masters experience what it is…the greatest week in golf.

But in 2020, amidst COVID-19, amidst stay at home orders…golf has been ruled non-essential. I’ve been home for three weeks now, working and trying to keep the walls from closing in on me. This week, honestly, is a kick in the gut. Masters week is a celebration in our home, we all partake. But this year, it’s a teardrop in the middle of an ocean of tears.

Five weeks ago, we lost our cat, Mags. Mags had been with me for going on 14 years. Than the social distancing order came. Than in the middle of The Players tournament (another Goedert household favorite), the announcement that The Masters would be postponed came. Than baseball opening day was gone. All these things are family favorites and traditions…gone. It started to feel like there was no time to recover from the body shots. Yesterday, was rough. A lot of shouting matches with the kid, irritability, and just feeling like an absolute failure at life, parenting, and ready to sleep through the rest of this pandemic.

As I was praying this morning, admittedly feeling sorry for myself, God directed me to the book of John. This is what I read:

John 10:10 NLT

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.”

Satan doesn’t just want to destroy us spiritually, but wants to take away the love we have for our everyday lives as well. Satan wants to take away joy, love, togetherness and make you feel alone and hopeless. We know this. I know this. But it is still easy to let everything in life, especially right now, drag you down and rob the light and hope from your life.

Self-care, or self-love right now means letting Jesus bring life into your life, even where things may seem dead, to let the fullness of who Jesus is to us, guide us to find ways to life life to our fullest. That means letting the creative spark God placed in you take new root and start new growth.

I have decided to make our home a fortress of hope and love. We will not let the darkness of the current state of the world dim our light. We will love, we will hug each other, we will laugh and make memories. We will remain strong in the love of God and the hope that Jesus has given us. As my son reminded me the other day, “Goederts don’t give up.” We will live life to it’s fullest.

It’s Masters week. Today, we will watch the Arnie documentary on Golf Channel while enjoying some of his signature tea and lemonade. Tomorrow, we will watch The Greatest Game Ever Played, one of my favorite golf movies. Wednesday, we will play Tiger Woods Golf: The Masters and have a par 3 tournament, Thursday – Sunday, my son and and I will start a four round video game version of The Masters. Sunday, we will watch last years final round, enjoying pimento cheese sandwiches, chips and Azaeleas.

Make the decision for yourself, for your family, that we will all take time for the life-giving things that we can still do. Breath love, hope into your home, your children, and your spouse.

We have but two choices: we can allow the overwhelming state of the world invade our hearts and homes, or we can choose to infuse our lives, and those around us with hope, love and life.

Don’t let the thief steal your joy, kill your hope, and destroy your love. Instead, let Jesus give life to your joy, and make full your hope and love.

This week will be one of life and smiles, after all, it’s Masters week.

 

 

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Explaining Newtown

Today in our Junior High class we had an open discussion about the Newtown tragedy. I wanted to give these kids, not so far removed from the age and environment of the children who we lost a chance to ask questions, and express their initial reactions and emotions. We watched a CNN summary of the events, it felt numbing watching and listening to the witnesses and about what happened. This immediately followed by the video of President Obama’s reaction to the shootings, I can honestly say it was difficult for me not to let my emotions run the show and shed the tears that have come so easily the past few days. I than started with a simple question… What was your first response when you heard about the shootings?

We got a response from every student. Almost all of them have a younger brother or sister in an elementary school, their first thoughts were of them. About their safety. One student said she just wanted her sister to come home so she could hug her. I heard the raw emotion in their voices, these were honest, heartfelt, and in most cases brokenhearted answers. These kids felt the pain, they knew what it was to feel this loss, even though it was a thousand miles away, and families they didn’t know. It brought about my second question to them.

How do you feel now. Answers came quickly. Sad. Scared.

They told me of how they were sad because of the losses of these families, sad for these lives cut short, sad for those who remained and had to pick-up their pieces. Hearing them talk, my heart broke for them, that they had to know such loss, such pain, and such tragedy at such an early age. Than they told me that they were afraid. Afraid that this could happen where they go to school, that such a horrible thing could happen in their world, where they live everyday. I told them not to be afraid, I told them of God’s love, I read this to them;

1 John 4:18
” There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

I told them that tragedy happens, even when we are faithful to God, bad things happen. But I also told them of heaven, and of paradise with their Lord and Savior. How that when their life is over, now, or in eighty years, that they had a home to go to. Our lives go on, not here on earth, but in the presence of the Creator of the Universe. I told them that God’s love quiets our fears.

Bad things happen everyday, not on this kind of scale or of this nature, but bad things nonetheless. When he see them on the news, hear about them through the internet or a teacher tells us at school, we must filter what we hear through the Bible. The Word of God brings comfort and peace, and the more time we spend immersed in it, the more prepared we are when tragedy strikes. We become saturated with God’s love and truth. We begin to have an understanding, an understanding of loss and grief, but viewed through the lens of eternity.

The other thing we heard from them was anger. These kids were angry that someone could do something like this. To gun down innocent children and to murder their protectors in cold blood, the very fact that this happened, it made them angry.  I told them they had a right to be angry. Anger is a natural response to such a horrific event. And many people would have anger, even hatred, toward Adam Lanza, the shooter.

But I went on. The shooter did something terrible, something incomprehensible, and that was the simple truth. He murdered twenty children, six adults, and then took his own life.  But what if he had lived? And than what if he had asked God’s forgiveness, made Jesus the Lord and Savior of his life? He would be saved just like the rest of us who have called on the merciful name of Jesus and received the gift of grace. One day we would all be in heaven, praising God together.

We can be angry, but it is a righteous anger, not a cold hatred. Our students related this type of anger to when their parents would be angry with them and had to discipline them, but in love, not in hatred. It’s ok to be angry for what he did, but to not forgive goes against God’s Word.

Matthew 6:14-15

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Righteous anger is only in balance when it is paired with God’s mercy and love.

The final thing we talked about was reasoning, blame. Whenever tragedy strikes, we naturally want to blame someone or something for its occurrence. We talked about how even after just a few days, the media, and a few other organizations have been circling and hovering over gun control and mental health. I agree that clearly Adam Lanza needed some help, whatever his problems were, they were rooted in mental illness. As my Pastor put it his heart was beyond calloused, it was seared. But that’s not the answer.

And its natural for gun control to be a firestorm of an issue after an incident like this happens it always is. But calling this a gun control issues is like sticking your finger in bursting dam, it won’t even slow the tide. This act was committed by a 20-year old man, raised in a nation and society that does not value God or standards of absolute morality and has removed Him from our everyday lives, schools, and government. We asked God to butt out, and now we are reaping a harvest of a generation that is lost on a path with no hope, and no compass to find their way. The issue is a lack of God, not an abundance of guns.

I truly believe that. It is not a political issue, or a gun issue, or a mental health issue. It’s a sin and godlessness issue.

I told our students that because it is not an issue man can address or fix, does not mean that there is no hope. There is amazing hope, because God specializes in impossibilities, healing our brokenness is the core of His heart.

Psalm 147:3

“He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds.”

If you’re a parent and your reading this, please, have open discussion with your child about this if they are aware of the Newtown shootings. This is a highly sensitive and traumatic subject, the worst thing you could do is ignore it. If they know, they are hurt. And if they are hurt, they need healing. May God Bless you and keep you.